BFRB’s

Hey everyone!  Sorry I have been a little MIA, I had some writers block.  

Today I want to talk about BFRB’s (body focused repetitive behaviors).

The ADAA list the most common BFRB’s as; “hair-pulling (Trichotillomania), skin picking (Excoriation), nail biting (Onychophagia), and cheek biting (Morsicatio Buccarum)”.  These behaviors can be dangerous and lead to serious scarring and/or infection.  BFRB’s are typically a comorbid diagnosis with OCD, but not always.  They can also be linked to other conditions.  It is important to speak to a medical professional if you experience any symptoms of BFRB’s.

I personally have pretty bad Excoriation.  I have the uncontrollable urge (compulsion) to pick at my arms, face, and the skin around my fingernails.  I believe I pick at my skin at least once a day but usually more.  Sometimes I go through cycles where I will pick for the majority of the day, leaving me in a good deal of pain from how tender my skin is (today was one of those days).  Sometimes my arms will hurt so bad, it’s actually painful for my clothes to touch them.  When I was in high school, my excessive skin picking actually lead to serious staph infection.  To me, it is worth the pain.  I actually just recently found out why that is.  When you perform BFRB’s or any type of “self-harming” behavior, it releases a ton of endorphins.  So, when I am feeling stressed or anxious, I tend to pick A LOT more than normal.  Of course, I had no idea the 2 correlated until recently.  I just always assumed I had this crazy compulsion to pick at my skin.

And before you ask- YES, I have tried MANY different things to stop me from picking.  Silly putty, fidget toys, stress balls, putting lotion on my arms, wearing long sleeves, you name it, I’ve probably tried it.  But that’s the thing with compulsions.  My WANT to pick is way greater than my NEED not to.  And the worst thing someone can do is tell me to stop picking- while I’m picking (lol). My husband does this all the time, and it sends me into this weird rage.  I feel like a 3-year-old, wanting to throw a tantrum and scream.  It’s almost like if you smoke cigarettes and your mom tells you to stop smoking, it makes you want to smoke even more.  Yeah, that’s how I feel about my picking.  I feel like I HAVE to do it and I really can’t explain why.

It makes me sad that BFRB's are so misunderstood.  They are seriously underdiagnosed and untreated.  Luckily, this is another area where CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) can help.  The main thing I will say though, is you really have to want to STOP the action of BFRB.  Like me, if you aren't dedicated to stopping the behavior, CBT and even medication won't help.  

This is an area in my mental health journey that I really need to work on.  But that's okay.  It's okay to take baby steps in our journeys.  Healing from mental illness is incredibly hard, and often times scary.  But we have to continue to push through, even if we're only taking one tiny step at a time.